Completely Realistic
by Cliff WalkerA conscripted but loyal Narcotics Anonymous member examines proposed new literature which
has been circulated for comment by NA members. These comments are the result
of what the NA member saw as a bastardization of NA's historic openness
to people who do not believe in any god.
This piece was published in the Oregon state-wide NA newsletter, Recovery
Review, and submitted to the Narcotics Anonymous Literature Committee.
The proposed text upon which these comments are based never made it into
the final draft of the book, It Works: How and Why.
The author had yet to discover Rational
Recovery at the time of this writing.
Completely Realistic
The following was submitted as input for It Works: How and Why.
It exemplifies many of the problems I see in the Steps portion of the draft.
Step Two, Lines 13-17: "Our Basic Text states,
'There is one thing more than anything else that will defeat us in our
recovery; this is an attitude of indifference or intolerance toward spiritual
principles.' The fatal nature of addiction doesn't afford us the luxury
of this attitude. If we want to stay clean, we cannot let an unwillingness
to believe in a Higher Power be a barrier to our recovery."
Here, you distort the meaning of this Basic Text passage and use
it as a manipulative tool to persuade the reader toward belief in a higher
power. The passage from "How it Works" talks about a scope of
spiritual principles that encompasses much more than just a belief in God
(though we certainly find belief and faith within the realm of spiritual
principles).
Faith, like the admission in Step One, needs to come naturally. We should
never steer the reader toward an admission of drug addiction or toward
a belief in God. We can only set an example: "For anyone who wants
our way of life, we share experience, strength, and hope instead of preaching
and judging" (Basic Text, page 56).
If anything, this passage from "How it Works" reassures me that
we offer a realistic and attainable plan for recovery from drug addiction,
free from any dependence on the supernatural to accomplish this goal. Please
read the passage very carefully -- in context -- and see if you find anything
at all about God:
This sounds like a big order, and we can't do it all at once. We
didn't become addicted in one day, so remember -- easy does it.
There is one thing more than anything else that will defeat us in our
recovery; this is an attitude of indifference or intolerance toward spiritual
principles. Three of these that are indispensable are honesty, open-mindedness
and willingness. With these we are well on our way.
We feel that our approach to the disease of addiction is completely
realistic for the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without
parallel. We feel that our way is practical, for one addict can best understand
and help another addict. We believe that the sooner we face our problems
within our society, in everyday living, just that much faster do we become
acceptable, responsible, and productive members of that society.
The only way to keep from returning to active addiction is not to take
that first drug. If you are like us you know that one is too many and a
thousand never enough. We put great emphasis on this, for we know that
when we use drugs in any form, or substitute one drug for another, we release
our addiction all over again.
At my first NA meeting, they handed me a printed sheet that said
"How It Works." Others recited from similar sheets and I tried
to follow along with them on mine, but I kept losing my place! I snapped
awake as a woman asked me to read "How It Works" aloud. As much
of a basket case as I've ever seen at any meeting, I still had no intention
of believing in God or working the Twelve Steps. Six of the steps refer
to God.
I began to read the card. When I got to the warning against "indifference
or intolerance toward spiritual principles," my heart dropped. Hope
for recovery vanished. That word spiritual conjures up images of
bubbly cauldrons, snake charmers, faith healers, and glassy-eyed converts.
I knew at once that I would have serious problems in NA; no way can I stomach
such nonsense. Never again do I want to be told, "The reason you aren't
healed, brother, is because you just don't have any faith!
You just have to believe!"
The card went on to say, "Three of these [spiritual principles] that
are indispensable are honesty, open-mindedness and willingness." You
mean you call honesty a spiritual principle? Open-mindedness?
Willingness? What happened to that unattainable faith in God I keep
hearing about in connection with spirituality? Even in my fog I could see
NA as practical, not spooky and inaccessible. I went to three meetings
the next day and missed one day over the following two years.
I would never have come back had they said things like, "There is
one thing more than anything else that will defeat us in our recovery;
this is an attitude of indifference or intolerance toward spiritual principles....
If we want to stay clean, we cannot let an unwillingness to believe in
a Higher Power be a barrier in our recovery." It just doesn't get
any more manipulative than this.
I need to plead with you to reconsider this paragraph. Part of my
recovery involves giving back what others so freely gave to me; and giving,
in the first place, what no one ever gave to me (things that I sure could
have used back then). The neutrality of our Fellowship, especially on religious
matters, means more to me than any other aspect of Narcotics Anonymous.
Our neutrality means I can feel at home here. Our neutrality means no one
has any justification for treating me as an oddball or an outcast -- not
even for my views of higher power. No one can open up a copy of It Works
or the Basic Text and demonstrate that my religious beliefs contradict
the NA program.
(Can they?)
When we promote the model of a so-called loving God who cares about us
as long as we grovel before Him, I yell! If we ever use manipulative
scare tactics to bring about a belief in God, I walk!! That would
contradict our own spiritual principles and I could no longer support the
Narcotics Anonymous Program. "The right to a God of your understanding
is total and without any catches. Because of this right, it is necessary
to be honest about our belief if we are to grow spiritually" (Basic
Text, page 25 [emphasis added]). Even this crucial passage misses the
point entirely. The wording presupposes "a God," thereby restricting
us from any other understanding of higher power.
Just this evening (February 4, 1992), an NA member of eight years explained
to me (in no uncertain terms) that I can work Step Two without believing
in God, but I must believe in God Himself in order to work Step Three.
You'd better believe I offered no response to him. I need all the friends
I can get in the Portland NA Fellowship. I try to stay very quiet at NA
functions.
I don't know what to say about the "God" and "Him"
parts. I do know, from firsthand experience, how it feels when a significant
portion of the NA community shuns someone as an outcast for having different
religious beliefs. This explains why I go home every night, sit down at
my typewriter, and plead with the Literature Committee to tone down their
assertions that we all must believe in God in order to work the program.
I want others like me (not to mention myself) to feel safe, welcome, and
at home in NA.
Clifton
February 15, 1992