Theism Or Intelligence
Well, here goes
I was born and raised in a southern Baptist family. Saved(from what?) and baptized. It was a natural way to be in the great bible state of Oklahoma. Church, twice on sundays and on wednesday night. After I entered college with the goal of a biology major with a chemistry minor, I started to realize that there was no need for the existence of a supreme deity. I quit going to church at this time. All things had a natural and ordered answer. Simply because we didn't yet have all the answers, did not mean "god" was that answer. At this time I became agnostic. I started to question my Christian upbringing. I also started taking a closer look at all of my fellow humans, all if which professed belief in "god", though it seemed none of them lived by the very rules of this "god". While back to visit my parents on vacation, which always meant going to church on sunday, I was humored to hear in the sermon, that the church was changing to meet the needs of the modern Christian. What!! The bible really wasn't written in stone. Whalaaa!!! I became an atheist on that day. Even "god" couldn't keep his rules straight. For many years I thought that if Christianity made a person happy and a better person, that was good. I have since changed my feelings on that idea. I see that most, if not all, the truly horrible things that have happened, and continue to happen in the world are due to religion. That no matter what a person does, "god" will forgive them. No accountability to one's fellow creatures or environment because one only needs to be accountable to "god". Spend your day lying, cheating, killing, raping -- anything -- and "god" forgives. Doesn't matter the effect on your fellow people, animals or world. Because all is forgiven. What a concept!!! No wonder the world is so horrifying. How sick and stupid does a person have to be to believe this. Very.!
Now, I have been a closet atheist for over 20 yrs. About a year ago, I came out of the closet, and let my friends and family know of my beliefs. I said nothing of my negative thoughts of "god", just my nonbelief in a supreme deity of any kind. I was tired of having to act like a was a believer. Surrounded by hypocrites. Talking the talk, but not walking the walk. As it is with all Christians. Extreme narrow-mindedness. A huge mistake, that I would gladly make again. Opened my eyes to what religion really is. My family has disowned me, friends have deserted me, and co-workers shun me. My life-mate (not a true achiest) has left me out of fear of Christian persecution. Why? If I remember right, doesn't "god" stand for tolerance and understanding. Of course not if "god" doesn't exist -- which "god" doesn't. All "god" is, is a easy out for all the horrible things people do. No accountability for one's mistakes. But are they really mistakes if no forethought is required. Only afterthought. And not for the victim of one's act, only of one's own standing in "god's" eyes.
I thank you for this outlet on my thoughts and beliefs. I could go on for a very long time, but will spare you. Maybe I'll write more at a later date if that is okay? Even atheists need friends. I have no one to talk to about these things. I know no other atheist close enough to me to relate to. And with Christians being as violent and hate-filled, can I believe anyone? Even a fellow atheist. (maybe a Christian in disguise -- looking to make a brownie point with "god") I have come to the realization that my atheism is a real threat to my existence. To think that the very people that I loved and trusted could so easily and completely turn on me.
Godless in Modesto -- And Proud Of It
Material by Cliff Walker (including unsigned editorial commentary) is copyright ©1995-2006 by Cliff Walker. Each submission is copyrighted by its writer, who retains control of the work except that by submitting it to Positive Atheism, permission has been granted to use the material or an edited version: (1) on the Positive Atheism web site; (2) in Positive Atheism Magazine; (3) in subsequent works controlled by Cliff Walker or Positive Atheism Magazine (including published or posted compilations). Excerpts not exceeding 500 words are allowed provided the proper copyright notice is affixed. Other use requires permission; Positive Atheism will work to protect the rights of all who submit their writings to us.