'Satan' Fools With
Silly Christians Again
Matt
|
Another flame session from one of the boards, we surmise! |
From: "Satan"
To: "Positive Atheism" <editor@positiveatheism.org>
Subject: silly christians
Date: Friday, September 29, 2000 4:32 AM
Christian: "You still have no concept of joy."
"Satan": Sure I don't. Riiiiiight. You guys never cease to amaze me! You think you are so special. Guess what? You're not. Joy is not exclusive to Christians. Nor is it exclusive to just theists. Furthermore, it is not even exclusive to the human animal. Other animals feel joy just the same as us primates do.
I feel joy all the time. How can you say that I don't? Can you prove that your joy is any different than mine? Of course not. Because if you even attempted such an experiment, then your logical fallacy, that you hold so dear, would be exposed and destroyed!
Christian: "How can someone who is being tortured or facing imminent death be happy about their circumstances..."
"Satan": I can think of numerous reasons that don't involve your imaginary friends. One, you could be happy because you are into S&M and pain actually gives you pleasure. Two, you could envision your cause and the people you got in this situation for and think of how proud they would be of your bravery. Three, eminent death would be a good thing in that situation. Non-existence is always preferable to a tortured existence.
Christian: "Joy is knowing that God loves you despite your short-comings."
"Satan": If believing that your imaginary friend loves you is what you need then there is truly something missing in your life. It's pitiful. Make some friends. It will help you adapt to reality and get your head out of the hallucinatory daze you seem to be stuck in. Remember: real friends, not imaginary!
Christian: "Jesus wasn't happy about the cross..."
"Satan": Jesus never existed. Fictional characters experience nothing because they are nothing. No happiness, no sadness, nothing. Ever.
Christian: "Who is this McKinney that his criticism of everything good evokes so much of your respect?"
"Satan": The Babble is everything good? That's your first problem. It's one of the worst books ever written. Ever hear of an editor? They seriously needed one! I've never seen so many mistakes in one book! Were they drunk or just retarded?
McKinsey is criticizing a horrible book, your babble. Therefore he demands my respect. And he is brave enough to go against the Christian mafia who loves to kill anything that opposes it. This demands more respect. Sorry, but the truth will eventually be told. No matter how many threats come out of the Christian death machine.
Christian: "They don't build monuments to critics."
"Satan": Yes they do. Ever hear of Abraham Lincoln? He was very critical of your babble. He was very skeptical. At the very least he was agnostic, but certainly he was not an Christian. Ever hear of Voltaire? He was a very famous French Atheist. Plenty of monuments to him. The list goes on and on. So, you're wrong. Thanks for making it easy. :)
Christian: "Anything good in your life comes from God whether you believe in Him or not."
"Satan": Nope. Your god, as well as the thousands of other Gods and Goddesses that man has made up, does not exist. So let's go over this. God=nothing. Nothing comes from nothing. Ever. Got it? Your imaginary friend will never be anything more than that. All good in my life comes from me, my family and my friends. No pretend buddies needed.
Christian: "Be thankful for His common grace and His offer of salvation."
"Satan": Who? Your imaginary friend? Why? He doesn't do anything. He doesn't even exist. Grow up.
-- Matt
"Christians refer to the following as mythological figures: Hercules, Osiris, Bacchus, Mithra, Hermes, Prometheus, Perseus, and Horus. All are pre-Christian sun gods and yet all allegedly had gods for fathers and virgins for mothers; had their births announced by stars and celestial music; were born on the solstice around December 25th; had tyrants try to kill them in their infancy; met with violent deaths; and rose from the dead. Moreover, nearly all were worshiped by 'wise men' and were alleged to have fasted forty days."
The Encyclopedia of Biblical Errancy
C. Dennis McKinsey
p. 108
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