Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.
-- unknown

Anyone who says God is on their side is dangerous as hell.
-- lapel button

Doing my part to piss off the religious right.
-- lapel button

Freedom is the distance between church and state
-- bumper sticker

Isn't there some sort of 12 step meeting you should be attending?
-- lapel button

Higher Powerless
-- Anti-Twelve Step bumper sticker, spoofing simultaneously the notion of a Higher Power and the (very twisted) Twelve Step concept of powerlessness, formatted to resemble the popular motif of Twelve Step bumper stickers

So, what's your drug of choice? Religion?
-- lapel button

Elvis is dead. Give it up.
-- lapel button

Love is an emotion, not a deity.
-- bumper sticker responding to "God is Love" stickers

Thank God I'm an atheist.
-- lapel button

How dare you presume I'm Christian.
-- lapel button echoing the gay dignity button, "How dare you presume I'm straight"

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever would believe in him would probably believe just about anything.
-- unknown

I don't know and you don't either!
-- bumper sticker

It's easier for the eye of a rich man to pass through a camel than for a needle to enter heaven.
-- lapel button

I don't mind born again Christians as long as they realize they don't get twice as many rights.
-- lapel button

Don't blame Christians, they just have bad role models.
-- bumper sticker

A theologian is like a blind person in a dark room searching for a black cat which isn't there -- and finding it!
-- unknown

My dog was first in his class at Harvard Divinity School.
-- bumper sticker

The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
-- bumper sticker

If there was an afterlife, Isaac Asimov would have written a book about it by now.
-- lapel button

When an agnostic dies, does he go to the "great perhaps"?
-- lapel button

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
-- unknown

It's called THINKING You should try it sometime.
-- lapel button

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
-- lapel button

Why do closed minds usually have open mouths?
-- lapel button

There is no God, and Murphy is his prophet.
-- bumper sticker

God is not dead. He is alive and working on a much less ambitious project.
-- graffito (1975), quoted from Jonathon Green, The Cassell Dictionary of Cynical Quotations

I think I'll believe in Gosh instead of God. If you don't believe in Gosh too, you'll be darned to heck.
-- anonymous

Dog is my co-pilot.
-- motto, The Bark Magazine, spoofing the popular Christian bumper sticker, "God is my co-pilot," quoted from Joel Stern, "It's a Dog's Life" (Time: May. 19, 2003)

Evolutionists have proof without conviction. Creationists have conviction without proof.
-- unknown

He is YOUR God. They are YOUR Rules. YOU burn in Hell!
-- lapel button

Religious groups should stay out of politics or be taxed.
-- lapel button

Appraise the Lord: Tax church property.
-- bumper sticker

The last time we mixed politics with religion people got burned at the stake.
-- lapel button; refrigerator magnet

Man needs God like a fish needs a bicycle.
-- Men's-room graffito in a Berkeley, California bar during the late 1960s, quoted by Robert Anton Wilson in Cosmic Trigger. This was later bastardized by feminists to read: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" or something along those lines.

Humanity without religion is like a serial killer without a chain saw.
-- unknown

A society without religion is like a crazed psychopath without a loaded .45.
-- graffito, boringly reminiscent of the above

Faith is that quality which enables us to believe what we know to be untrue.
-- Anonymous, quoted in Definitive Quotations, ed. J Ferguson (1981), quoted from Jonathon Green, The Cassell Dictionary of Cynical Quotations

The narrower the mind, the broader the statement.
-- old saw

The world came first and the gods came later.
-- proverb from ancient India

A priest is a man who is called "Father" by everyone except his own children, who are obliged to call him "Uncle."
-- Italian saying

What men usually ask for when they pray to God is that two and two may not make four.
-- Russian proverb

If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
-- Yiddish proverb, quoted from Jonathon Green, The Cassell Dictionary of Cynical Quotations

The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.
-- Hungarian proverb (thanks to Eric)

Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunters.
-- African proverb, quoted by Dr. Paul Gorski, "Multicultural Pavilion: Quotations and Proverbs"

If you believe everything you read, better not read.
-- Japanese proverb

A closed mouth gathers no foot.
-- Anonymous, a humorous contradiction of, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." Use with caution?

I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you.
-- Texan proverb

The Subtle Fulmination of the Encircled Sea

Please Feel Free
to Grab a Quote
(or Maybe Three)

Grab some quotes to embellish your web site,
to use as filler for your group's newsletter,
or to add force to your Letters to the Editor.

Use them to introduce the chapters of a book or
accent the index or margins of a special project.

Poster your wall!    Graffiti your (own) fence.
Sticker your car!!
Poster your wall.    Graffiti your (own) fence!!!

That's what this list is for!
That's why I made it!

In using this resource, however, keep in mind that
it's someone's life's work, a hedge against old age.

In other words: That is: In other words:
If you decide to build your own online
collection, then find some new material!
Dig up quips that haven't yet been posted!

There's something to be said
for doing your own work.